Tag Archives: heart

October 27th – Hope!

Matt has been hired to teach music lessons in Canton part time! It is not much, but it is s start. He also has an interview for a very good call center tomorrow.
I had my section meeting today. It was interesting. These are now my best connection to the profession golf world. I am quite isolated otherwise. It makes these meetings so much more important.
I am exhausted. And my heart has been giving me trouble the last half hour.
My doctor’s appointment is tomorrow. I am not really sure what I am going to say.
“Hi! Yeah, my heart has been feeling funny lately…”
I need to remember my heart is “feeling funny” on average six days a week. That is cause for alarm.


October 21st – Newlywed Rehersal

Matt had an interview with Aflac today for insurance sales. It has given Matt the first real glimmer of hope we had had in a long time on the job market.
It is your usual 1099 sales job. They pay for a good bit of your insurance licensing. There are a lot of people who make s great living doing this.
And there are a lot of people who fail to support themselves.
We are seriously considering this.
I would have to support Matt the first few months to a year. So if we are going to do this, then now is the time. I am gearing up for tax season and poised to make some great paycheck from now until the wedding. We do not have kids to support (yet). This will be the only chance to try this.
A good bit of me wants this because now is the best time and because it would get Matt moved. I realized today just how much I really want him here with me. But is my desire for him to move clouding my judgement on this job?
We still have a lot of questions. There will be a second interview where Matt can get more information. In the meantime, I think it is best if we keep searching and applying to other jobs.
It was great having Matt here after work yesterday, overnight, this morning, and today after work. It feels like we had a small sampling of what married life will be.
I was surprised by how differently the last two days felt from all the other full days and mini vacations we have taken with each other. These were weekday work days. Getting up early for work, breakfast, picking up groceries, coming home from work and making a quick dinner because Matt had to go to barbershop choir tonight. The only difference from what it will be like almost six months from now is the dynamic of staying with my parents and we did not sleep together.
I think married life is going to suit Matt and I just fine. Even if we are broke!
And a side note. I have felt palpitations on and off all night since about 5:00. And in case I did not note it earlier, I have stopped drinking anything with caffeine since Friday so see if that has any affect on my heart. So far it does not seem so.

October 20th – Save the Dates

Our engagement pictures came in the mail today! Too late to order the Save-the-Dates Matt and I had liked at 40% off.
I took another look at the options over at Mixbook. That is the same company I did Matt’s birthday book through. They are having a sale where Save-the-Dates are 50% off.
We made a beautiful card! I cannot wait for them to arrive and to send them out!
Matt was job searching today. I think he is onto some good leads. Doors will be opening up soon for us.
He is staying the night here, and then going to an interview and continuing his job search.
It is so nice to have Matt here. I know when he does move here we will spend most of our evenings together. It was comforting just to be next to him tonight.
I did not feel palpitations yesterday. But they are back again tonight. They come and go as they please. I will try my best to avoid laying on my left side because that seems to agitate it.
A week from tomorrow is my doctor’s appointment. I have cut out caffeine the last few days and limited my alcohol. I may as well do those things now because that is what my doctor will tell me to do.

October 18th – Palpitations

I felt palpitations while at dinner with Sally tonight. And I felt them again briefly while on the phone with Matt. I am starting to feel them again now as I lay down in bed. I take note of these daily here because this will make it easier for me to track what is going on with my health.
I spent the whole day cleaning. My bathtub is so clean you could cook spaghetti in it. Not that I would. I think pasta sauce would be much harder to clean than soap suds.
I had a good time with Sally tonight. We are planning on having a wine night soon.
Tomorrow Matt and I will finalize the guest list with addresses. Hopefully by the end of the day we can have everything formatted so we can print labels easily once the Save-The-Date cards arrive.
I miss Matt. I wish he was laying in bed beside me, just talking about the day and everything that will be coming up. I like love not just all the amazing and enchanting moments with Matt. I mostly love all of the everyday moments we have together. The quiet and peaceful moments we have in each other’s company.
I cannot wait to be with him again tomorrow.

October 15th – Extensions Filed

All of the extensions are now filed. At least the ones that came in. We still have someone’s name and phone number who came in on April 15th and had us file an extension. He paid us $100 towards his tax prep fee up front and we have not heard from him since. People are crazy.
Matt and I had a good and brief talk tonight. We were much more relaxed than we had been lately. I had not realized how stressed we have both become.
I just played s little bit with Sophie and I am feeling the palpitations again. I am experiencing these 5-7 times a week on average. I am going to guess that is high.
Talking to Matt made me feel so much better. I was rather somber tonight before. I went to Kohl’s because I really needed new jeans. I tried on ten pairs and none of them fit me well. Vera Wang used to have my back.
I feel as though things are starting to look up again for Matt and I.

October 14th – Tonight’s Worries

I am very tired today.
I have a doctor’s appointment two weeks from today about the palpitations I have been experiencing the last few months. I have read they are rather common. But experiencing them every other day is not normal.
Tonight I really miss Matt. I wonder how exactly marriage will change our lives. We are a little more than six months out and we still lead rather separate lives. I am not quite sure how you handle such a large, day-to-day change. I think it will change both of us. I am just not sure how.

October 13th – Tough Decisions

Matt got a job offer today from someone he used to work for. It is a great offer. But we do not know how much it will pay to start off and it is nearly two hours away from my home.
Luckily Matt has a few days to think about it before letting him know. We have a lot to think about.
It is really really close to being the answer to our prayers. And it reminds me how everything always works out for the best.
You see, Matt started working for this guy two years ago when the cement factory could not take him on as a temp. Matt still works on weekends for the same company, but this former boss has since left and bought his own business.
We were scrambling when the cement factory could not take on Matt in 2013. But if that had not happened, then Matt would have never received this offer today.
So if we find we cannot take the offer, I know that something else will come along.
I went 48 without feeling the palpitations. I started to feel them as I was on the phone tonight. I sat up on my bed and they went away in about five minutes.
I was unable to call, but I did go online to get started scheduling an appointment with my doctor. I need answers. Is this going to be no big deal and normal for me? Or am I at risk for a stroke or heart failure?